Top Ten Signs You Are Not Going To College

10. Live in sub-Saharan Africa

9. Are the female protagonist of a Disney movie

8. Lack of checkers scholarships

7. You get lost mowing lawns

6. Your math teacher has given up on algebra and now just urges you to color inside the lines

5. Where some parents started a college fund, yours were breaking into trailers looking for change for meth

4. English paper “Feasibility of Bipedal Linear Acceleration while Holding Two-Bladed Hinged Cutting Apparatus” failed to impress admissions board

3.  Pastor says there’s not enough time before the aliens come

2. Have bad habit of never finishing what you start

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