Ways I Have Referred to Dan Hill’s “Sometimes When We Touch”

  • Wet Kleenex
  • Vat of middle-school girl tears
  • Beef jerky soggifier
  • Testosterone nullifier
  • That thing we should engrave onto a golden disk and shoot into space to serve as a warning to any aliens who find the naked pictures on the “Voyager” spacecraft

HOW RELIGIOUS FANTASY ROMANCE NOVELS WOULD PLAY OUT IN REAL LIFE

STOIC, RUGGED AMISH FARMER: I need a goodly wife to mend my breeches, cook my meals, and sometimes help me raise barns.

CAREER WOMAN WHO HAS LOST SIGHT OF THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE: I am sorry, Strangely Compelling Amish Dude, but I want different things out of life and romance and your buggy doesn’t have a USB port for my iPhone.

*THEY WISH EACH OTHER WELL AND GO THEIR SEPARATE WAYS*

<FIN>