Top Ten Rejected Children’s Books

10. One Day Everyone You Know will be Dead

9. Touchy the Friendly Clown Visits a Daycare

8. Monsanto Presents Chuckles, The Cheerful GMO Soybean

7. Timmy and the Corporate Campaign Contribution Slush Fund

6. Where Walmart Sneakers Come From

5. Across the Tracks from Sesame Street

4. The Magic School Bus at the Rendering Plant

3. Baby’s First Beauty Contest

2. Let’s Draw the Powerpuff Girls with Pronounced Bosoms

1. Why Uncle Roger is No Longer Allowed to Babysit

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